Excerpt from Grumpy Old Menopause
Have you started to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them? Do you need to change your underwear after every sneeze? Guess it's time to read this book then. It'll help you get through "that" time in your life with a spring in your step and a smile on your face. (Yeah right!)
I hit puberty late in life. When I say late, I mean late. Every girl in my class had huge breasts, Bic disposable razors, and boyfriends, and giggled a lot about sex. I was behind the times and my body didn't transform until I was about seventeen.
Now, I am in my fifties and I am still a late developer. All my friends journeyed through the miserable menopause several years ago while I trailed behind.
At least I was able to amass a stack of information to help me transit this time with the minimum of woe and bad temper. I learned much from my friends and have discovered that you can get through the menopause without wanting to rip off people's heads or lying in bed with terrible cramps.
This guide will help you when your other half and your family don't seem to understand what is happening to you. It will ease your mind, when you are awake at night, wondering if you are the only woman in the universe to be swimming in a puddle of sweat with your heart palpitating. This little book will help you sail through a tricky part of a woman's life with ease and humour. It should prevent you from turning into Mrs Crabby or worse still, a demonic monster.
I would make sure you haven't got any sharp knives around the house though just in case I happen to be wrong.
Menopause is one of those life changes. How we handle it is up to us. Whether we choose to use hormone therapy replacement, whether we set up our own physical and mental regime through exercise, diet, or other means, or whether we decide to "go it alone" and just ride it out until it's hopefully over, we are entirely responsible for the daily attitude we carry throughout this time.
The menopause often occurs at a time in our lives when most, if not all, of our children are leaving or have left the nest. (For some, it unfortunately happens when their off-spring are going through puberty which can cause fireworks.) We may begin to feel needed less. Our purpose in life seems to have left, along with its dirty washing and noisy music. It is a time when we might begin to question what lies ahead.
Now that we have more time to ourselves we may begin to notice those indicators of age: facial wrinkles, the drooping turkey neck, and the triceps that are turning into the infamous "bingo wings". It's not a very appealing picture. However, we should not be concerned with the "old" woman who is staring at us in the mirror. We should concentrate on the "new" woman on the inside.
What can we do to get through this phase of our lives? Surprisingly there is much that we can do to stop blowing up at people and having a rough ride. We can take measures to look after ourselves and ensure we do not get too overwhelmed by what is happening to our bodies. However, the best medicine of all is laughter.
So, without further ado, sit back with a small glass of wine, a large box of chocolates and this book.
Question: What can a husband do when his wife is going through menopause?
Answer: Keep busy. If he's handy with tools, he can finish the basement. Then when he's finished, he'll have a place to live.
You can buy this book via Amazon UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/Grumpy-Old-Menopause-Carol-Wyer/dp/1908208260
Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines
Surfing in Stilettos
How Not to Murder Your Grumpy
Just Add Spice
Grumpy Old Menopause
Tutorials and Tools for Prospering in a Digital Age (Contributing Author)
Indies Unlimited 2012 Flash Fiction Anthology(Contributing Author)
First Chapters (Contributing Author)
www.carolewyer.co.uk
www.facing50withhumour.com
You can follow Carol on Twitter at www.twitter.com/carolewyer
2 comments:
After the day I have had, your super review couldn't have come at a better time. Thank you very much indeed. I shall now sleep with a smile ion my face.
Funnily enough, I have been walking around with a copy of the book in my handbag all day...I feel a new tagline coming on :) x
Carol, I bet you ALWAYS have a smile on your face - even when you sleep. You certainly make so many people laugh and you are one funny author - in the nicest possible way!
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